Today has been a lot like a lot of days I had last summer –I woke up slow, drank my coffee in no hurry, caught up on a handful of podcasts I love. I’ve had time to clean the bathroom, do all of my laundry, and make a batch of oatmeal scones. Later, I’ll meet some friends for coffee. I’ve had more than enough time to do all the things I needed to, and quite a few things I wanted.
Today has felt so similar –down to the hum of the AC unit in my window, the uninterrupted time to think, the mid-morning light in my room, the wondering if I’ll be able to fill an entire day this way. But circumstantially, it couldn’t be more different. Last summer I had one wide-open day after another because I’d resigned from my job prior to my wedding –which I then called off. Those unstructured days were terrifying to my shaken heart. I was lonely and afraid of the silence and completely overwhelmed by all of the things undone. Today, I have the day off from a job that I love. I talked to my sweet boyfriend before he went to work this morning, and again at lunchtime. I’ve found that I’m not afraid of the silence or lack of structure anymore.
Some days I wonder if maybe I shouldn’t think about last summer so much anymore. It’s been a year, isn’t it time to move on? But today, I never want to be so far removed from that season that God’s sovereignty, provision and kindness to me don’t make me weep.
Psalm 18:19 says, “He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me.” He rescued me. From sin and death, but also from grief and from fear and from a very difficult situation of my own choosing. He set my feet upon a rock and brought me to good work and restored the parts of me that were so broken. He taught me to delight in His word and has shown me more of love in the last year than I’d learned in the previous twenty four combined.
He rescued me, and I never want to stop talking about it.